so i've had this quote in my profile for a while:

I don't know why we go over the old hurts
Again and again in our minds, the false starts
and true beginnings of a world we call the past
As if it could tell us who we are now,
Or were, or might have been

why?

i guess i feel like it completely expresses how i feel about the past. its like so much stuff happens that you wish didn't happen and then you look back on it and pick it apart and wonder when exactly it went wrong. and then you wonder what you could have done to prevent it...when if you think about it, what does it really matter? because constantly thinking about it isn't going to change the fact that you got hurt. i suppose though in a sense, it could affect who you may become because you don't want to be the same person who got hurt before...so you're more cautious of your actions and whatnot. then you think back and wonder how you've changed since then, or if you've even changed at all, or if you have changed, is it for the better? i really can't stop thinking about all the times i regret the past few years..even thouhg they arent really specific times..more like situations i guess. but i dunno, i know i need to let everything go and leave it in the high school part of my life, where it belongs, but for some reason i can't. i think that's the reason why i'm anxious to go to college even thouhg summer is pretty fun so far...because i'm hoping that once i get there and start the next part of my life, i won't have to take any unnecessary emotional baggage with me if i dont want to. but for some reason i doubt that's goign to happen. of course though, the deepest hurts are those caused by the ones you care for the most. and then with every broken heart, you try to keep yourself further away from anyone that could possibly be the next to break your heart. and in the end you just waste a lot of time keeping everyone away when you could be having fun while you can...until of course, it just becomes another one of those things in your past. it kinda makes you wonder who you've hurt in your lifetime...which goes back into thinking abuot your past even though very few questions could ever be answered from it. it also doesn't help that in my room i have quite a few pictures of people/events from times i know i'll never get back again so it makes me kind of sad when those pictures are the first thing i see when i wake up. i'm not really sure where i'm going with this, but it's been bothering me for a while so i guess i just needed to get it out there. it's not about anyone or anything in particular, it just is. eh. =T

one day, three people decide to go visit a school called ucdavis for a few days. here is what happened:

zoya realized she was a reptile and was shedding out of her original skin...so she thought she'd speed up the process and pick some skin off herself. and we also met a new awesome friend named michelle who was reading up information on zoya's skin-peeling condition.

daniel's hand swelled after being bit by some crazy insect...or zoya? who knows.

because of his infectious bite, he passed out in a chair in the lecture hall...and would not wake up even though michelle poked him with a pen multiple times. we were scared.

we think the insect must have come from somewhere in this web/net/thingie.

while we were looking for the insect in her hair, we noticed this man with extremely short shorts

you have to look closely past peoples' large heads. and the picture is bad quality because i was trying to be a sneaky paparazzi.

this is another one of our new friends..notice zoya in the picture as well...she was being a little psycho, but i guess that's what being a reptile does to you. anyways this guy was the loudest sneezer we'd ever seen/heard. and he sniffs up his snot a lot then wipes it on his hands. we were extremely grossed out and wnated to leave, but we were stuck in this little room:

we wanted another picture with our sneezing friend who rolled up his khakis because it was hot and humid like some tropical rainforest might be.

that is the end of our second of many journeys to a place called ucdavis. i love walking. in the heat. and not getting any of the classes i wanted. and my and zoyas $5 shirts! yay. "road trippin' with my two favorite allies..."

bye.